"No Real Than You Are"

 It's rare that we do follow-up stories at the Hyper Kitchen. In fact, I don't think it's ever happened before. But, when the ocean waves deposited a giant Lego man onto the Siesta Key Beach in Florida, we knew that we had to act. On October 26th, the Lego man was discovered and promptly "taken into protective custody" by the local police. Perhaps they feared that the Lego man would go on some sort of rampage. Nevertheless, as with the previous giant lego man incidents, this anomalous event appears to be the work of Dutch artist Ego Leonard. Like the others, the words "No Real Than You Are" were emblazoned on its t-shirt. This is the first Lego man to travel beyond Europe, and may hint at a more international Lego presence.

Would you like to know more?

Read this Washington Post Article

See examples of Ego Leonard's artwork

Lost: One 7,600 pound hydrogen bomb. Answers to "Sparky."

There is a Mark-15 nuclear bomb off the coast of Georgia, somewhere out in Wassaw Sound. The bomb contains 400 pounds of explosives, along with uranium and possibly plutonium material. It is 100 times more powerful than the bomb dropped on Hiroshima. Despite three major search attempts, it has defied retrieval for more than half a century.

Back in 1958, a B-47 bomber took off from Florida on a secret training mission. The plane was piloted by Colonel Howard Richardon, and the flight was to serve as a test run for hypothetical long-range bombings against Russia. In an effort to make the simulation as real as possible, it was decided that the plane would carry a live nuclear weapon.

All went along normally until Richardson's bomber collided with an F-86 above the border between Georgia and North Carolina. The bomber sustained critical damage; its engine almost being torn off. While the pilot from the F-86 safely ejected from his wrecked aircraft, Richardson and his co-pilot didn't have that option on account of the explosive cargo they were carrying. An attempt at a crash landing might've resulted in a catastrophic accidental detonation. With no other choice, Richardson decided to jettison it. Flying low, he dropped the bomb in the swamps near Tybee Island and safely landed at Hunter Army Air Field. Richardson was subsequently awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross.

Naturally, dropping a H-Bomb in American waters was a public relations disaster for the military, so initial reports withheld important details of the event, insisting that only a "part" of a bomb had been dropped. As their search attempts yielded nothing, they gradually acknowledged that a complete weapon had been lost, and it has been only recently revealed that this bomb was live. The pentagon continues to insist that a detonation would be impossible, but these claims have been contradicted by other military officials. Meanwhile, Georgian residents are understandably wary about their unwanted nuclear neighbor.

Would you like to know more?
-Read this BBC article
-"There's an H-Bomb in Our Swamp"

Monument to Mystery

For as long as mankind has known the ocean, we have been discovering strange things on the beaches; enigmatic gifts from the waves. Sometimes it's some piece of a sunken ship and other times its a hunk of foul-smelling ambergris.

And then things get really, really weird.
On August 7th, 2007, beachgoers from Zandvoort, Amsterdam, were amazed to find a partially submerged eight foot tall lego man. Snackbar workers carefully hauled the thing up onto the beach and stood it upright, revealing the words "NO REAL THAN YOU ARE" on its chest. The Lego Group were as surprised as anyone, and denied involvement in its manufacture. The giant lego man was set next to the beach's drink-stand and has understandably become a tourist attraction oddity.

If this wasn't peculiar enough, on the morning of Halloween of 2008, a second lego man was discovered on the Brighton Beach of the UK. This lego man sported a green sleeveless shirt, but it was emblazoned with the same, grammatically incorrect statement. Unlike the people of Zandvoort, who embraced their strange visitor from the sea, the council-people of Brighton announced that their lego man had "been taken away."

But beneath their bright smiles, these giant lego men clearly conceal dark secrets. What are they, really? Where do they come from?

Are they some irritating "guerrilla marketing" scheme?

Do they originate from an enormous Lego vessel somewhere in the Atlantic?

Are they product of an elaborate terrorist plot to test the resolve of reality itself?

Perhaps some remarkable form of sea-life, washed onto the shore like a beached whale or long-dead squid?

Or are they artifacts from some macroverse above our own, swept down a colossal drain into this world?

Unfortunately, the true of creator of the giant lego men was outed, revealed to the world as one "Ego Leonard," a very eccentric and extremely Dutch artist who has chosen giant lego men as his particular medium. Nevertheless, the Hyper Kitchen serves this story as only further evidence that the planet is far stranger than you may think.

Read about the original Dutch giant lego man here
See the sad story of the Brighton lego man here
Speak Dutch? Then take a gander at Mr. Leonard's website. If not, the pictures are kind've neat.

Suggested Reading/Plug for a Book I Like:
Does this story strike a chord that you never knew existed? Then you may enjoy Gahan Wilson's "The Cleft and Other Odd Tales." Get it from your local library! If they don't have it, demand it! Or you could buy it here and get that ol' economy going.