Six Minutes to Midnight at the Greenbriar Hotel

The Greenbrier Resort of White Sulphur Springs, West Virginia, was built in 1913 and has hosted 26 presidents and countless VIPs from nearby Washington. However, the hotel is available for ordinary citizens as well. For a mere $295.00, you too can relax for two nights in their "standard room." Sadly, this deal does not include access to the casino, golf course, tennis courts, and shooting ranges offered to the more important clients, but perhaps your mere proximity will allow for a luxury contact-high.

Until fairly recently, the Greenbrier had other exclusive amenities to offer its clients. In fact, it had an entire wing on call for the members of congress. Constructed in 1959, this section came with two-foot thick, steel-reinforced doors with three mechanical locks each.

It was also built underground. All the better to avoid the fallout.

Known as "Project Greek Island" or "the Bunker," this section was an enormous bomb-shelter intended to keep congress safe during a nuclear war to ensure "continuity of leadership." As New York and Washington burned with atomic fire, these men would be whisked away to the Greenbrier "relocation center" and there they would stay until the radiation had subsided. The facility was equipped with two distinct chambers for the House and Senate, and a connection to a nearby radio-tower so they could broadcast their legislative progress to whatever remnants of American society remained alive above ground. Thanks to gargantuan stores of food (and the alcoholic beverages so crucial in the political process), congress could stay in Bunker for years. The place even had a "pathological waste incinerator" to dispose of the dead.

While the Bunker is known to have been on high-readiness during the Cuban Missile Crisis (and conceivably on several other occasions during the Cold War), its existence was kept secret until its exposure by the Washington Post in 1992. Throughout its operational life, the Bunker was overseen by a group that operated out of the resort under the cover story that they were contractors belonging to the "Forsythe Associates."  Nevertheless, despite this secrecy and the cooperation of the Greenbrier employees, it was impossible to completely conceal the Bunker and its true purpose, and unconfirmed reports of a government base spread through the White Sulphur Springs area like the flu.

When the bombs started to fall, security guards were ordered to refuse admission to anyone but congressional members and the corresponding personnel. If hotel employees or other guests tried to get in, they were to be shot. This may seem severe, but order had to be maintained. Perhaps as a consolation effort, all of the White Sulphur Springs areas was eventually designated to receive some 45,000 nuclear refugees in the event of war. No shelter was provided for them though. They were expected to pack their own camping tents and weather the fallout in the great can-do tradition of patriots everywhere. The Bunker was exclusive until the end.


Would you like to know more?
-Read the Washington Post article that started it all
-Visit the Greenbrier Hotel's official website
-Check out the PBS documentary

Build a Better God

Universalist minister John Murray Spear was a man of uncommon moral courage. In the 1840's, he organized the first Universalist convention on the abolition of slavery and helped to assemble a portion of the Underground Railroad in Boston. He also championed women's rights, fought for better conditions for workers, and effectively served as America's first parole officer. Still, Spear was also deeply frustrated. He had been with the church for several decades, and it was growing increasingly difficult to reconcile his faith with the often harsh and arbitrary world that he lived in.

Eventually Spear became disillusioned and turned to spiritualism at the behest of his daughter. In the following years he claimed to have contacted ghosts while in a trance state, writing about his experiences in pamphlets. Just as the high-science jargon of quantum mechanics is often appropriated by today's New Age gurus, Spear was fascinated by the then-mysterious world of electromagnetism and sought to harness its power in healing the sick. His unusual activities alienated his friends in the church and many worried that Spear had succumbed to madness. When he announced that he had become the chosen medium of a "Congress of Spirits" whose ranks included Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Jefferson, their fears seemed to be confirmed. His membership in the church was dissolved, but at this point Spear had little interest and (possibly due to the influence of Benjamin Franklin) had started designing fantastic mechanisms such as an "electric thinking machine" and a device that could facilitate telepathic communication across all of America.

As is typical in these situations, former church members and various spiritualists flocked to hear Spear's trance sermons and he soon had a healthy cult following. His preachings were fairly radical for the time and placed an emphasis on free love and liberation for women. Perhaps emboldened by his new prominence, Spear selected an inner circle of followers and began work on his most audacious plan of all. Christ was taking too long to make his return and usher in paradise, so Spear decided to bring about utopia himself.

He decided to make his own messiah.

With who knows how many spirits guiding his thoughts, Spear designed a machine in Lynn, Massachusetts. Called "New Motive Power," Spear's messiah was a decidedly non-human construct assembled on top of a large dining room table. Comprised of zinc and copper, along with the all-important magnets, New Motive Power was intended to be a sentient conduit of spiritual force. After construction was completed, Spear and his colleagues attempted to bring life into New Motive Power through various rituals. Despite their best efforts, their messiah proved inoperative.

Spear was crushed by his failure and was apparently ordered to retire by his ghostly guides. He continued to support progressive and spiritualist causes until his death 1887. New Motive Power, the stillborn god, was dismantled; its parts sold for scrap.



But don't take my word for it!
-You can read about it in a book.

The Comet Brought it Here to Kill Us All

It feeds on human flesh and lives for sheer destruction.

These are the Facts

Yes. It's all true. I am the Gorilla Man from your dreams.

The Ghost and the Guts

While struggling with our daily lives in these economically depressed times, we at the Hyper Kitchen barely noticed a September-shaped blur race past us. This can only mean two things:

1). Our rent is due.
2). It is once again time again for another entry in our celebrated Monster of the Month series.

Most of our monsters have been of the male persuasion and we wanted a lady monster for this month. Trouble was, many of them were fairly dull. Fortunately, we stumbled upon the world of Thai folklore and were ensnared in the dangling viscera of the dreaded...Krasue.

The unbelievable Krasue is an evil spirit that takes the form of a beautiful woman. According to legend, the head of the Krasue detaches from of its neck, dragging its internal organs along for the ride. It then flies off into the night in search of an evening meal of flesh and blood. The Krasue is especially fond of messily devouring human fetuses with its prehensile tongue.

Yay!

Perhaps due to its sheer gruesomeness, the legend of the Krasue spread into nearby Cambodia, Laos, and Indonesia, with each culture adding their own unique twist on the ghost.  The Krasue may have even influenced the development of a similar Japanese monster, the Nukekubi. This super-star status has made it a prime choice for horror movies, and since the late seventies there has been a smattering of Thai, Indonesian, and Hong Kong fright flicks featuring this flying freak (Stan Lee would be proud). We at the Hyper Kitchen think that it's high time that Hollywood took notice of Krasue. Somebody green-light this blood-sucker! We got a winner on our hands!

Would you like to know more?
-Watch a movie and get educated

Nothing in the Dark

 In 1938, Halifax, England, was in the grip of terror. The frightened townspeople locked themselves in during the night and shops and taverns were closed down. The local police, together with Scotland Yard, prowled the alleyways and streets along with gangs of hard-edged vigilantes. 

A maniac was on the loose and no one could rest until he was caught.

In November 16th, two women, Mary Gledhill and Gertrude Watts, went to the police and described a narrow escape from a crazed man wielding a hammer. Their descriptions were vague, save that he wore shiny buckled shoes. News of the attack spread quickly and the town grew anxious. Five days later, police received a visit from one Mary Sutcliffe who tearfully told them that she had been attacked by a man armed with a razor. Other reports came in afterwards and Halifax exploded. The local newspapers shrieked warnings of the "Halifax Slasher" and more witnesses and near-victims came forward every day. Some accounts described a man armed with a hammer and others said he held a knife or straight razor. As their search turned up nothing, police offered a sizable reward for information leading the Slasher.  The drunken men of Halifax formed gangs to patrol the streets, and several innocent men were beaten after being mistaken for the elusive boogeyman. News of similar attacks came from nearby Bradford and Manchester. The town was at the boiling point. And then one of the victims came forward with a startling announcement:

His wounds were self-inflicted.

The manhunt had been unsuccessful, not due to some incredible cunning on behalf of the Slasher, but rather because there was never any Slasher in the first place. The whole story was a lie that was embellished upon by each subsequent "victim" until all of Halifax was in a frenzy. The newspapers that had capitalized on the Slasher scare made a quick about-face and happily informed their readers that there was no killer after all. Still, even after police had closed the case, reports of lunatics with razors and hammers were surfacing in towns as far away as London.

Tall-tales die hard, it seems.

But don't take my word for it!

-You can read about it in a book.

Give My Creation Life

Another Shaggy Saint Story

Alongside the obligatory strongmen, midgets, and limbless wonders, the bearded lady has been a staple of sideshows and carnivals for more than a hundred years; the image of a demure yet hirsute women adorning countless posters. That said, you'd scarcely expect to see one in Westminster Abbey, but in the Henry VII Chapel stands a rather peculiar stone statue.

The statue depicts Wilgefortis, a medieval saint of dubious origins that is said to answer the prayers of women looking to escape abusive relationships. Why the whiskers? The story goes that Wilgefortis was a Portuguese princess who chose to convert to Christianity shortly before her arranged marriage to a Sicilian king. Refusing to compromise her new-found piety, Wilgefortis prayed that god make her ugly so her suitor would lose all interest. Within moments she had sprouted facial hair. The Sicilian king, doubtlessly aghast at the prospect of having a wife with a manlier beard than his own, called off the wedding. Wilgefortis was then put to death by her enraged father, who had her crucified.

Saint Wilgefortis briefly had her own sect of worshipers in Flanders, France, during the 1300's and her image can be seen in many examples of medieval Christian art. However, the Catholic Church is surprisingly skeptical about Wilgefortis and many religious scholars speculate that she's a folklore figure. Images of a robed Christ may have been mistaken by new converts for a bearded woman. Alternately, Wilgefortis may have been a real woman with a hormone imbalance. Regardless, she boasts one of the best beards in all of Saintdom.

Would you like to know more?
-Read this entry from Catholic Online
-Read this excerpt from the Oxford Dictionary of Saints

A Great Price for a Great Product

The Christ of California

The army had a profound effect on Francis Pencovic's life. Formerly a petty criminal, Pencovic had joined the service after working on a chain gang and the experience left him a changed man.

In Simi Valley, California, 1946, Pencovic announced that he was actually Jesus and (departing from the conventional Biblical texts) explained the Son of God was a being from the distant planet Neophrates and had journeyed to Earth many thousands of years ago in a spaceship piloted by Adam and Eve. Shortly after this astonishing anouncement, Pencovic changed his name to "Krishna Venta" and adopted a suitably messianic haircut along with some Jedi robes.


It wasn't long before Pencovic had amassed a small but fervent group of (largely female) followers who donated all of their possessions to his new church, referred to as WKFL ( for Wisdom, Knowledge, Faith, and Love) or The Fountain of the World. Pencovic used at least some these donations to make bets on dog races, at which he was apparently quite successful.  As his reputation grew, so did the numbers of his cult and eventually they opened up a second branch in Homer, Alaska.

Pencovic's preachings resonated among those who felt fearful in the new Cold War. He told his followers of an imminent doomsday (which would take the form of a Soviet-instigated black vs. white race war) that would claim the lives of all humanity, save for 144,000 "Elect" that would go on to Paradise under his leadership. Until Judgment Day, the parishioners of the Fountain of the World cult were to assist the homeless and spread the world.

After a few run-ins with the police for refusing to pay child support Pencovic was killed in 1958; in a double suicide-bombing carried out by two of his own followers. One man was fiercely jealous of Pencovic's power and influence, and the other believed Pencovic had been sleeping with his wife.

After the death of their prophet, the Fountain of the World limped along for about a decade, teaching Pencovic's apocalyptic visions to all who would listen. Before their ultimate dissolution, the group provided a home for an itinerant would-be musician.

His name was Charlie Manson.

It appears that the cult left quite an impression.


Would you like to know more?
-Read this article from the International Cultic Studies Association
-Watch this newsreel from the British Pathe Film Archive.